


don’t laugh, i’m dying now

by leafchan15



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amputation, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bacta as Lube (Star Wars), Blood, Electrocution, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forced Medication, Graphic Description, Horror, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hurt Anakin Skywalker, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Lowercase, M/M, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Medical Torture, Medication, Mental Instability, Mind Manipulation, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Physical Disability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Scary, Sith Obi-Wan Kenobi, Smut, Vomiting, Yikes, child like state of mind, electronic ahsoka tano, evil computers, for the aesthetic, only for a while
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:15:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29100135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leafchan15/pseuds/leafchan15
Summary: anakin knows things aren’t as they seem. he knows everything and yet... nothing. as reality slips between his fingers, faces become muddled and he falls further to the darkness.only his memories can save him, but obi-wan has them all locked away.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	1. technicolor dream

**Author's Note:**

> this is the most self indulgent thing i’ve ever written in my life. it’s also the most terrifying, and well planned out thing as well. the plot is immaculant 😵💞💕
> 
> don’t mind me complimenting myself 
> 
> and yes, it’s all lowercase because i love the style and also, it really fits here. so when i cap, you know it means business. like a ‘NO’. chef kiss. 
> 
> anyway, please be warned this isn’t exactly normal and anakin is being greatly manipulated by palpatine throughout this. he is also in a childish state of mind for a few parts until he snaps out of it.
> 
> [official spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/5l5ghmkhrebrdookomak3tzh4/playlist/5jk13Y6xlq112gA3SvazEk?si=5FcLqalfTb-KiHWh0oQ6iQ)

artificial sunlight filtered through the grated windows of anakin’s room, rousing him from sleep. his eyes widened in alarm, the boy recoiling further into his bed at the sight of obi-wan standing over him. there was a sad smile on his face, making anakin uncomfortable in a way he couldn’t place. 

“happy eighteenth birthday, anakin,” he said, then walking to the closet. “palpatine expects you downstairs. he said there would be- well, a surprise.” his voice was strained, but anakin hardly noticed. 

“a surprise? like a birthday present?” he was desperately optimistic, blue eyes pleading for obi-wan to tell him it was so. he always did this, putting obi-wan in a position he couldn’t fill, looking to him for joy. it was pathetic and anakin knew it. yet, he couldn’t stop hoping for something good to finally happen. especially when he’d been waiting for so long. 

obi-wan brought him a clean uniform, identical to his own. bright red and black, both of the colors sickening in anakin’s eyes. some days he wanted to dip them in blue paint and other days, he wanted to rip them to shreds. he never did either. 

anakin was grateful for what he had. 

“perhaps,” obi-wan said carefully, so he wouldn’t hurt the younger’s feelings. “...but don’t get your hopes up.” he handed anakin the neat pile of clothes before turning to face the padded wall. 

anakin rolled his eyes as soon as the older’s back was turned. “it’s  _ the  _ year, obi-wan.” he began to change, whispering little reassurances to himself. it was short lived as new thoughts flooded his mind. “i’ve never had a present before. do you think it’ll be a puppy? or a toy car?” he grinned, poking obi-wan’s back to let him know he finished changing. 

“i… don’t know,” obi-wan said, turning to face him. “but really anakin, you shouldn’t expect-”

“you don’t know!” he objected with a frown. the gold in his blue eyes started to stand out against the sunlight smothering the pale room, annoyance glimmering in them. “you never know…” he shook his head, going to grab his shoes from the back of the door. they were dyed another shade of bright red like his uniform. 

obi-wan didn’t waste his breath on arguing with the boy. instead he pocketed his hands, offering a patient smile. “okay,” he said. “what kind of present do you want?” the man walked over to help him, not wanting anakin to get frustrated with the mundane task. 

“anything!” he said, plopping down on the door in front of obi-wan. he held his feet out, so the older man could put his shoes on easily. “well… nothing scary,” he whispered. 

everything went silent. 

anakin lowered his head, his brown curls blocking his vision. within moments, white noise streamed through his ears, blocking out the rest of the world. he didn’t notice when obi-wan finished tying his shoes, too lost in his own head to hear him calling his name.

a sharp pain on the back of his neck brought him back to reality. 

“are you alright, anakin?” there was a look of concern on obi-wan’s face, his hand wrapped around a small remote. 

anakin smiled with a quick nod, hiding his fear behind the joy in his blue eyes. “yep!” he chimed, standing up and brushing off his pants. there wasn’t a spec of dirt on the floor, but he did it anyway. “can i go get my present now?”

obi-wan stood after him, heading to the door. “of course. we shouldn’t keep palpatine waiting,” he said, pressing another button on his remote. the door opened slowly, revealing the dimly lit hallway. 

together they walked through the hall, the small datapads built in them watching anakin with their piercing red eyes. he kept his head down, trying to avoid them. palpatine had them installed less than a year ago as a surprise. ever since, they watched anakin, willing him to come closer. anakin stopped getting up in the middle of the night for water because of them. staying in his room was a lot safer than facing these electronic demons. 

anakin walked behind obi-wan, reaching for his hand as they grew closer to the kitchen. there was a buzz in his head, all of the red eyes getting brighter. 

the older let him, turning his head to face him momentarily. “anakin?” his other hand went to his pocket, almost unsure. 

“i’m fine,” he said, quickly pulling his hand back from him. “it’s just dark…” anakin looked away from him, meeting the gaze of a datapad. his breath hitched, the boy averting his eyes downward. “obi-wan, help.” 

within a few moments, obi-wan took his hand again, leading him down the hallway. “it’s okay, anakin,” he said softly, squeezing his hand for reassurance. “just look at the ground,” he whispered, like it was a secret. 

obi-wan’s hand was warm.

it was real. 

anakin listened to him out of trust, and kept his eyes down the rest of the walk. the metal floor was comforting in comparison to the walls. it gave him hope for a better day. maybe he’d even get a present, even when all the odds were against it. anakin knew better, but it was the thin lines of hope that kept him going in the house with his sickly pale skin and lifeless forms. he hated it here, but he knew to be grateful. after all, there was always a worse fate in another life. that’s what obi-wan told him anyway. it was wise of him to say, but foolish all the same. 

anakin knew why obi-wan was here. 

he didn’t know now, but he used to for a brief moment long ago. before the datapads were installed in the hallways, and before the room had to be padded. anakin knew and he’d know it again. 

“here we are,” obi-wan said, pulling the remote from his pocket. the kitchen door opened just as his room’s did, revealing brightly colored walls and furniture. “go sit by ahsoka, palpatine will be here soon.” obi-wan pressed a hand to his back, gently pushing him forward. “go on,” he said. 

anakin furrowed his eyebrows at the newcomer, taking in her appearance. she had beautifully tanned skin and odd horn things attached to her head. there was a strand of beads attached, tied off at the end. . not only that, but she had bright blue eyes like his own, hers full of life. anakin decided he liked her already, even if he was scared to approach. “is she the surprise?” anakin asked in a whisper while making his way over to the circular table. there were four chairs seated around it for three people. 

anakin looked at the extra chair with a frown. 

“ahsoka is not the surprise.” obi-wan walked to the fridge, pulling out a jug of black juice. “why don’t you sit down and talk to her. i’m sure you’re excited to meet her.” 

anakin turned away from obi-wan, going to sit across from the girl. he watched her carefully, unsure of how to start. it’s not like he had much experience with conversations. even the ones he had with obi-wan were short and pointless. lucky for both of him, she seemed more than capable of starting one.

“hi, i’m ahsoka tano. what’s your name?” she asked him with a wide smile stretching across her painted lips. it was unnatural, how she tilted her head. anakin thought it might even fall off or her eyeballs would fall out with how she looked at him. 

he tried to reciprocate the smile, but it was a pained expression. “my name is anakin,” he said slowly, unable to tear his gaze away from hers. behind him, obi-wan was plundering in the cabinets, anakin listening closely to the  _ pop  _ of a cap. 

“but what’s your family name?” she asked quickly, leaning forward in her seat. her eyes grew dark, the blue in them beginning to fade. 

“uh… i- i don’t-” 

“you have one, don’t you?” she pressed, slamming her hands on the table. anakin jumped in his seat, beginning to dread her presence. 

“yes!” he said, leaning away from her. ahsoka may not have been  _ the  _ surprise, but she certainly was  _ a  _ surprise. she was a scary one, asking questions he couldn’t answer and looking at him like prey. red eyes flashed through his mind, able to see the datapads through her behavior. 

“then what is it, anakin?” she smiled wickedly, her teeth sharp enough to kill. 

obi-wan chuckled from behind him, closing a cabinet with a  _ snap _ . “that’s quite enough ahsoka, you’re overwhelming him.” he sat a glass of juice in front of anakin, then taking his own seat beside the boy. “don’t mind her, anakin. she’s just curious.” he turned to ahsoka with the same, charming smile he often used on anakin. “i think it’s a rather nice change of pace.” 

anakin didn’t. 

“curiosity killed the loth-cat…” he muttered, remembering it specifically from the holocron broadcast he watched a few days before with palpatine. it distinctly showed a small loth-cat wandering outside and getting brutally killed by a group of younglings. it was an entertaining thought; seeing ahsoka getting beat to death would have been a satisfying surprise. he might not ever ask for one again if he could have that. he sipped his juice, glaring over the cup. 

he focused his attention on the texture of the juice, carefully exploring the syrupy liquid with his tongue for foreign objects. he found what he was searching for in the last sip, hiding the pill under his tongue. obi-wan wouldn’t check to see if he’d drank it all, not like palpatine would have. 

anakin watched obi-wan speak to ahsoka, clawing at the plaque on his teeth. when he removed his hand from his mouth, a red pill came with it, the boy clenching it in his fist. he put it in his pocket, so he wouldn’t be caught, his heart thumping in his chest. there was no telling what palpatine would do to him if he learned that his little experiment wasn’t going as planned. 

this had only happened once before. anakin couldn’t remember how he’d been punished. a part of him didn’t want to, but deep down he knew that he had to know. he needed to remember everything to form a plan of escape for them; otherwise known as a plan of escape for him and obi-wan. anakin knew the older male didn’t want to be here either… he just didn’t remember how he got here or when. the boy couldn’t remember a lot. it was easily blamed on that revolting pill in his pocket. 

the door opened and came in palpatine, a walking cane in his hands to guide his steps. “ah, i see you’ve met ahsoka, my dear boy,” he greeted, standing close to the door. “and happy birthday, of course.”

anakin forced a smile, his eyes returning to his normally cheerful demeanor. “thank you palpatine! i’m so excited for today, obi-wan said i would get a surprise,” he said, turning to face the old man. if anakin thought his skin was pale, palpatine’s was ten times worse. “at first i thought it was ahsoka,” he added with a small giggle. 

palpatine walked over, glancing at the empty cup sitting in front of anakin. “well, she is a part of it in a way my boy,” he said, smiling in content. the old man patted anakin’s shoulder then turned to the door. “the real surprise will come once i leave. i do hope you enjoy the day, goodbye anakin.”

anakin had to catch himself from sighing in relief once palpatine left. he looked down at the table, his hair aside his face. when he looked up, he caught obi-wan’s eyes, remembering to smile. “aren’t you excited?” he asked, voice full of joy. 

obi-wan’s smile was forced, a small amount of fear behind his eyes. he wondered if it was for him or obi-wan himself. “yes, of course. it’s your birthday after all.” he laid his hand on anakin’s, squeezing it gently. his eyes searched the younger, almost as though he was searching for someone else entirely. 

anakin couldn’t fathom who. 

the door opened again, obi-wan snatching his hand back. when anakin turned in his seat, his heart stopped completely. a woman walked in, her hair twisted up in design. she was beautiful. 

she looked at him like an old friend, walking to the table with her hands full of containers. “hey ani,” she said, smiling brightly at all of them. her teeth weren’t sharp at all, just shiny and clean. her eyes met obi-wan’s and she seemed to remember something. “oh dear, i haven’t even… introduced myself,” she said carefully. “i’m padme.” 

“okay, i’m-” he looked at her oddly, tilting his head. “you know my name?” 

“of course, palpatine told me,” she said happily, sitting all of the containers down on the table. “now, let’s get started, why don’t we?” her hands shook while taking the lid off of each container. “i brought art supplies and we’re going to color pictures, make crafts… all of that stuff.” 

padme was scared.

anakin eyed the supplies warily, knowing nothing good would come of this activity. awareness seeped back into his mind, his natural reflexes and common sense feeling like an old friend. he could sense things he hadn’t in such a long time, it was like filling a whole in his chest. the aura of the room was awkward, unease surrounding padme and obi-wan. ahsoka… ahsoka didn’t feel like anything. 

ahsoka wasn’t real. it should have been surprising, but it wasn’t. within a few more moments, his real memories were bubbling to the surface of his mind. a part of him was terrified, split between two distinct personalities. neither of them belonged in his body, both tearing him apart from the inside as they merged. anakin fought to keep his expression neutral, knowing if he gave himself away now, his chances of escape would become even lower. 

padme sat down once the supplies were distributed, placing a sheet of white paper in front of herself as well. “i’ll show you how to draw a flower,” she said, taking a red crayon in her hand. all of them were red.

anakin couldn’t seem to care. 

he watched her start the picture with a circle in the middle of the paper, then watched as she added petals to it. her hands moved delicately, anakin finding that he was more intrigued by them than the picture she drew. again he was reminded by how beautiful padme was.

the feeling spurred more memories, buried beneath drugs upon drugs that had been forced in his system under bright lights by creatures with white skin. anakin couldn’t tell if it was real… or just another illusion. 

his mind was a jungle, vines wrapping around his thoughts. he only snapped out of it when ahsoka spilt red paint across the table, the substance splashing onto the blank paper that sat in front of him. 

anakin jumped in his seat, eyes looking up to meet with obi-wan’s. the tension between them was strong, anakin able to  _ feel _ his thoughts, though they were locked away behind a fortress in the older’s mind. obi-wan watched him, fear sparking in his eyes. 

he knew. 

anakin knew he knew about what he knew. 

kriff. kriff? what’s- anakin couldn’t keep up with the new (old?) things coming into his mind. he tore his gaze away and looked at padme, who stared at the paint in silence. 

“my bad,” ahsoka said, voice forced. she met anakin’s eyes, smiling at him. her teeth seemed sharper than before… and silver. they weren’t silver before, were they? “anakin, why don’t  _ you  _ get a rag?”

he gulped, getting up as quickly as he could muster without knocking anything over. he turned his back to the table, getting a rag from the drawer. 

it was red… the color of blood. 

the color of- a lightsaber. 

he turned around quickly, eyes finding obi-wan’s again. they were- he was… this wasn’t right. they weren’t supposed to be here, anakin wasn’t supposed to live like this. palpatine was evil, obi-wan had been right all along. anakin hadn’t listened. he’d been reckless and brought everyone down with him. 

he looked into padme’s eyes, seeing the eyes of a friend he once loved. they stay trained on the table, her eyes red rimmed. 

then he forced himself to look into the hollow eyes of ahsoka, nothing left but a machine. he killed her. he didn’t know how, couldn’t even remember why, but he knew he was to blame. now all that was left of his padawan was hatred towards her failed master. 

it wasn’t right. 

none of this was as it should be. 

in a trance, he took the rag to the table and began to wipe the bl- paint… did the paint look so- bloody before? 

anakin dropped the rag, gagging at the metallic smell that rose in the room. ahsoka stood, the liquid running out of her throat. her hand drove into her own neck, flesh and wires muddling together in a disgusting mix of death. “you did this.” 

she knew. 

palpatine knew. 

padme and obi-wan stayed completely silent, not meeting anakin’s gaze when he reached out through the force for help. padme couldn’t.

obi-wan locked him out. 

“master, help. why- why?” anakin took a few steps back, ahsoka taking steps forward. her blood covered hand reached out, the cabinet opening and a bottle being pulled to her hand. 

“you haven’t been following the rules,” she said, clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth. “haven’t you realized how much you’re hurting us anakin?” her voice rose, popping the lid open and pulling out a pill. “you have to save us.” 

anakin looked around for a weapon, finding none. the room was bare. “ahsoka, stop. i- i can get us out of here-”

“NO!” she screamed, holding out the pill. “you’re hurting me!” 

he backed into the wall, a blood dripping from the ceiling. it coated the floor in droplets, even falling into the pill she held out for him. 

ahsoka’s eyes were desperate, pleading with him. “please,” she choked out, her force signature bursting to life. “he’s going to hurt us! please master..” she fell to her knees, coughing up blood on his shoes. “please master, help me.”

“stop. stop it.” he looked around, knowing palpatine would see him. “make it stop!” he begged, dropping beside the girl. he found the pill in her fist, dry swallowing it as fast as he could. anakin held his hands to her throat, trying to stop the bleeding. under him, she convulsed, pupils the size of a needle point. 

she fell still in short time, anakin looking as padme walked towards the door. her cheeks were tear stained, more flowing from her brown eyes. 

“padme… help her,” he begged, reaching out for her hand. “please help her.”

the woman didn’t meet his eyes, snatching her hand away. “you- you’ve already killed us,” she said emotionlessly, turning sharply. 

his heart cracked. 

she left him. 

the door shut. 

arguing was heard on the other side of it. 

a bloodcurdling scream. 

then a blaster fired. 

anakin dropped ahsoka’s body on the floor, slowly rising to his feet. this wasn’t- no… she couldn’t have. a tear rolled down his face, taking a step towards the door. 

“anakin, stop.” 

he slowly turned his face to see obi-wan standing with the remote in hand. 

“i don’t want to hurt you,” he said, emotions filling his eyes. there was so much pain. so much suffering. obi-wan loved him, anakin could remember it. the shared glances, the nights they stole under the stars. 

it had been so long since he’d seen the sky. 

anakin turned back to the door, taking slow steps, despite his urge to spend his last moments of freedom in his master’s arms. begging for freedom that would never come. 

“anakin!”

his heart thrummed in his ears as he rested his hand on the handle of the door. “i killed her…” he whispered, beginning to pull it open. 

his head became foggy, grip loosening. the pill was for his memory… wasn’t it? his eyes widened, head snapping in obi-wan’s direction. betrayal filled anakin’s eyes, a shade of gold threatening to overturn the blue. “you… you did this.”

“i’ve done what i had to do,” obi-wan answered, striding over to him. anakin tried to back away, but his feet wouldn’t respond, knees buckling in. 

“stop… don’t touch me,” anakin hissed, throwing his hands up weakly. 

obi-wan pulled him over, avoiding his attack easily. “i’m sorry dear one, but i haven’t any choice,” he whispered, pressing a hand to his forehead. 

the world went dark. 


	2. wine red galleries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our golden boy is thrown into the world of evil datapads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter ended up being really fun to write despite how dark it ends up being ngl. anyway, hope you enjoy it!

artificial darkness filled anakin’s room when he awoke, able to feel a second presence with him. the only light was moonlight seeping through the grated windows, revealing where obi-wan sat not too far away. 

anakin remembered something… something he dreamed? he didn’t know… but he’d seen him at peace before, never here, but in another life. 

he watched him through the dark, evaluating his own mind as he did. the day before… it was his birthday and padme had done art with him. then she left later, anakin ate dinner, and went to bed. 

he didn’t remember obi-wan staying. 

anakin sat up slowly, looking down to see he was still in his uniform. he furrowed his eyebrows, knowing he changed clothes before bed. regardless of the odd situation, he’d have to change. it’s just what you did. 

he went to the closet, ignoring the faint red glow coming from beneath the door. the datapads wanted him out there… he could hear them in his head coxing him out. they’d devour him if they had the chance. 

ignoring them was easy when there were greater matters at hand. in his closet, anakin found sleeping attire, changing in the dark. he jumped at the sound of something hitting the floor, looking down to see a small pill in a ray of moonlight. 

time froze around him as he looked at the object, something that certainly didn’t belong. slowly he knelt to the floor, reaching out to pick it up. once his fingertips brushed across its surface, a small box of memories presented itself in his head. 

anakin wasn’t sure if he should open it or bury it further in his mind. the contents could ruin everything or fix everything… he just didn’t know how or why or when it got in his mind. 

there was no ignoring this. 

against his better judgement, anakin closed his eyes, letting himself fully enter his mind. the box was small, and it gave him a sense of security he shouldn’t have felt. nothing was secure before… it just wasn’t. 

his hands lifted the lid, memories slowly making their way back to him. memories of yesterday that weren’t his own… but they were. he dropped the box, eyes opening quickly. 

he was trapped. 

this wasn’t right… he turned to obi-wan, glancing down at the pill in his hand. “i’m sorry…” he whispered, walking over silently. ahsoka’s bloodied body haunted him as he took steps forward, the sound of a blaster so distinct. and at last, he knew what real anger was. it was so familiar. 

and anakin felt it burning in him like a fire. 

he watched him sleep, looking at the pill in his hand. anakin wanted the truth. he wanted the never ending twist in his head to subside. every new thought countered with the old, reminding him that nothing was real. his time here was an illusion marked by fake memories that covered his own. 

there was only infinite suffering for everyone… but obi-wan and palpatine.  _ they _ did this to him. 

anakin knew everything was a blur, knew he could hardly trust himself, but he also knew what stayed the same in both lines of memories. 

manipulation. 

obi-wan changed his memories into the jungle they’d become, causing every ounce of pain in his head. anakin wanted to kill him for it. 

and yet… he couldn’t bring himself to force the pill down the older’s throat. anakin wouldn’t let himself put obi-wan through the same pain he had to face. there was compassion where anakin thought there’d only be hate. he didn’t know what to do with those feelings. 

there was a stir in the room, anakin knowing he was waking up. he backed up, clutching the pill in his fist. slowly he started to break down the puzzle of his head, trying to get past what obi-wan did to his mental state. he couldn’t face him with a handful of memories and feelings that didn’t match. 

though it seemed he’d have to. 

“anakin, what are you doing up?” obi-wan asked, watching him carefully. 

obi-wan didn’t know he remembered. it was painfully obvious. 

the male could’ve jumped for joy at the realization. obi-wan had no idea of what anakin knew, blindly thinking his plan was going as he intended. for once, in all of his time here, anakin knew he had an advantage. 

“i… i had a nightmare…” he said quietly, looking down at the floor. holding back a smile of triumph was hard, but he managed to put on a believable facade. just like all of the other times. 

obi-wan stood, tilting his chin up with his hand. he watched him, looking for something in his blue eyes. 

anakin couldn’t fathom what he was after. 

“are you sure?” he asked, waiting for him to slip up. “you don’t seem too shaken up.” 

anakin, in the midst of panic, backed away from his touch. “don’t… i-” he gulped, holding his hands up. “don’t touch me, obi-wan.”

he knew. 

“how?” obi-wan looked at him, his gaze becoming something of pure fascination. all of the pending threat was washed away by that stupid feeling anakin couldn’t erase. why did he care so kriffing much? 

“what?...” anakin didn’t move when he took a step towards him, though a part of him would rather throw himself in the hall with the datapads. 

obi-wan didn’t reach out, didn’t ignore his command to stay away. instead he stood at a comfortable distance with longing in his eyes. “you remember. how do you remember?”

anakin curled his lip in anger, clenching his fist hard enough for his nails to dig into his palm. “i don’t know,” he hissed. “and you aren’t taking my memories away again. i won’t let you,” he said, moving back once more. 

confusion grew on obi-wan’s face, the older watching him like a wild animal. but that’s what he’d become, wasn’t it? that’s what they turned him into. 

“anakin, i’m not going to hurt you. we can get away together,” he whispered like a sacred promise. “palpatine wouldn’t know, we can make a plan. but we have to do it now or-”

“we?!” anakin laughed in disbelief. “you did this to me! i’m trapped in this stupid asylum because of you  _ and _ palpatine.” 

obi-wan paused at that, disappointment filling his eyes. “you don’t remember,” he said, shaking his head silently. “i’m… i’m sorry.”

“what? no, i do remember,” anakin said, looking around the room. this was… this was an asylum. the padded rooms and dark halls were… he was here because- 

he didn’t know. 

obi-wan grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door suddenly. “i’m sorry, anakin.” 

“what are you doing?! we can’t go out there!” he yelled, trying to pull away. “stop!” 

obi-wan didn’t listen, nor did he let go. “you have to remember,” he said, as if trying to grasp at a reality that didn’t exist. “it’s the only way you’ll remember.”

“no! they’ll kill me!” he screamed, dropping all of his weight to the ground. obi-wan went down with him, both of them in an entanglement of limbs. 

anakin dropped the pill in his frenzy, watching as it rolled beneath his bed. his eyes widened, quickly jumping up to go after it. a sudden spark of electricity froze his actions, his body falling limp. hands around his waist dragged him to the opening door, despite his protest. 

“you did this! just fix it,” anakin cried, kicking and twisting around to get away. it was no use, still in a weakened state from the shock. “don’t put me out there.”

“i didn’t do this,” obi-wan said, more like  _ lied _ , while pushing him through the doorway. “i have been conserving your memories, anakin. palpatine is the one shutting you off! you have to fix this.” one final shove sent anakin flying out of the room and onto the floor of the hallway. “you have to find yourself!” with that, the door shut tight behind him, leaving him in the technological nightmare. 

anakin didn’t know what to believe anymore. 

red eyes focused on him, the whole hall lit up with the crackling of wires. “no..” anakin muttered, turning back to the door. he banged on the metal until his fist bruised, screaming for obi-wan to open it. his heart drummed against his chest, the lights growing brighter, almost blinding when he turned back. 

wires crawled across the floor in his direction, sparking at the ends. his breath hitched, nothing left to do but run for sanctuary. 

“i hate you!” he screamed, hoping obi-wan would hear before running down the hall. holocron fuzz filled the air, the noise loud enough to make his ears bleed. his only hope was making it to the fresher, located at the very end of the hall. 

anakin knew he wouldn’t make it. 

the wires would tear him apart piece by piece before he could. it wouldn’t stop him from trying… from  _ hoping _ for something to change. he couldn’t even remember why he was here, couldn’t even remember his mother’s face… if he even had one. though he knew all of this, anakin held onto the small string of hope in his heart, knowing there was a way to escape this. 

so anakin ran for his life, dodging all of the wires darting out of the datapads. he didn’t dare look into the datapad's eyes, knowing he’d be frozen by his fear of the technological monsters. 

why would obi-wan do this? he’d trusted him to be his friend all this time, only to have it ripped away from him in one night. anakin wished he had shoved that pill down his throat when he had the chance. wished he would’ve strangled him before he woke up. it wouldn’t have hurt… not as much as obi-wan hurt him. 

is this what betrayal felt like?

why was it so familiar?

in the midst of his thoughts, anakin let himself be tripped by one of the wires, crying out when he fell to the floor. “no, no, no,” he repeated like a mantra, kicking away the wires wrapping around his ankles. “please,” he begged, unable to back away as metal cords wrapped around his wrists. they dragged him to the wall against his will, anakin screaming for help.

he knew it wouldn’t come. 

the datapads eyes swirled, a bright red that slowly faded to black and white. frozen, he couldn’t move despite his mind screaming in protest. he couldn’t even speak anymore, the sound of holocron fuzz the only thing he could hear as he was dragged into a datapad on the wall. sparks of electricity ran down his body, a bright light consuming him completely. 

when the lights faded out, anakin convulsed rabidly from the stress of the situation. he could hardly turn on his side before emptying his stomach on the plated floor beneath him. it glitched when touched, bright reds and dark greens blending with the black tiles. the smell of his own vomit made him gag further, falling back in his original position from a lack of strength. 

he glanced around, able to see a medical table in the distance. there was the outline of a body laying there with a thin sheet laid over them. the white cloth was stained red in many places, remembering the scene in the kitchen almost instantly. all of the blood seeped back into his memory, anakin able to  _ smell  _ it all over again. a nauseous feeling washed over anakin, it taking everything he had not to vomit over himself. 

he knew he wasn’t safe here, but couldn’t see an exit… he couldn’t see anything besides the medical table that had a white light shining over it. the rest of the technological world was only lit by small glitches. fear loomed over him once he heard loud  _ clanking _ in the distance. motionless besides the shaky rise and fall of his chest, anakin watched a mechanical brute stomp out of the darkness. it loomed over the medical table, one of its arms in the shape of a saw. 

it scanned over the sheet, then using its normal arm to pull the sheet away from the table. anakin had to stop himself from gasping in fright at the reveal. ahsoka laid there, unmoving and as bloody as she was before in the kitchen. it scanned her again, this time sensors going off that made the machine pause. 

it’s stomach opened up, pulling out tools and beginning to perform a healing surgery on the girl’s throat. anakin’s fear faded slowly, realizing that it could be her savior.  _ his _ savior even. still, he didn’t move, afraid of the machine seeing him in the dark and retaliating harshly. 

the datapads dragging him here couldn’t have been a sign of safety. this mechanical monster couldn’t be his savior. anakin  _ couldn’t _ let his guard down. 

they were simple facts, yet his mind yearned to see the hope in the situation. he wanted to stomp out the light, but couldn’t do that either. another rule of survival. 

to hope was to live in a place as grisly as this. 

anakin sucked in a breath as the machine scanned ashoka again, then listening in horror as it spoke. 

**_next treatment set : amputation of left arm_ **

he wanted to scream for  _ it _ to stop, unable to tear his eyes away as  _ it _ used a leather strap to cut the circulation from the girl’s arm. the  _ whirr _ of  _ it’s _ saw hand flew through the air, sending the male into a cold sweat. 

as it brought the saw down on her burnt orange skin, ahsoka was brought out of her sleep with screams tearing from her. anakin was frozen in time, watching her blue eyes fill with panic. what hurt him wasn’t her expression, or the blood splattering across her face, but what she screamed into oblivion. 

his name was drawn from her lips like a prayer, each scream echoing louder than the last. 

“ANAKIN, MASTER PLEASE HELP!” 

tears mixed with the blood on her face, running down to taint the white markings on her cheeks. every moment that passed was infinite, a never-ending loop of terror. 

“ **ANAKIN!** ”

ahsoka screamed his name, a mantra, until her voice was no more, and yet she screamed until blood ran from her lips. 

she convulsed in pain, her blue eyes rolling to the back of head. within moments, she fainted from the pain, the machine wrapping the nub left behind in bacta patches. 

anakin gagged, though there was nothing left in his stomach to spill. he forced his eyes down, the smell of blood and old vomit flooding his nostrils. he listened to her amputated limb hit the tile floor, stomach acid forcing its way to his mouth when nothing else would surface. 

when the vomit hit the floor, anakin’s fear grew tenfold as the tile lit up bright red. eyes wide, the male slowly brought his gaze up, looking into the red eyes of the machine monster. “no,” he whispered, using his feet to push himself back. 

the tiles all lit up bright greens and reds, giving his location away once more. there was no escape from the machine, no more hope, for it had all been snatched away in an instant. 

_ it _ would kill him. 

obi-wan  _ lied _ . 

anakin would die from being an  _ idiot _ .

why did he  _ trust _ him?

he hadn’t trusted obi-wan though...

he didn’t know how, but that’s why he was here, wasn’t it?

he hadn’t trusted him and now he would die. 

anakin would die from being an  _ idiot _ either way. 

even as his doom approached with loud clunks across the tile floor, anakin laughed. he laughed and laughed, cackled and pulled his hair, not bothering to run. there was nowhere to go anyway. the machine would catch him in his weak state no matter what he did. 

there was  **_no_ ** hope. 

so yes, anakin laughed and fell back onto the floor, letting the machine catch him by the leg. his giggles filled the technological world, wild and unruly, his sanity slipping away with the last of his hope.

there was nothing left for him anyway.

within moments, the machine let him go by ahsoka’s detached arm. anakin’s giggles subsided slowly as blood soaked into his uniform, darkening the red cloth into a deeper shade. he could see the bone sticking out, the ragged flesh where it had been torn away. he gulped, breath unsteady again. 

he would be next… that monster would tear his flesh from his bones.... perhaps it would wear his face as a mask. would he scream until his throat bled like ashoka had? still, he didn’t move an inch to save himself when the monster left him to move ahsoka’s body elsewhere. 

anakin knew he deserved this… even if it killed him. 

it was his fault ahsoka was hurt. 

now, it was his turn to suffer. 

the saw-handed monster turned to him with its beady red eyes, anakin meeting them with his own blue ones. a fleeting moment of understanding passed between them, anakin finally finding peace in this place. this machine  _ wasn’t _ a monster. it healed ahsoka after cutting through her arm, proving that it was capable of compassion. it wouldn’t throw him away after it was through torturing him…

obi-wan, however, had. 

anakin sighed, forcing himself from the floor wordlessly, seeing that the…  _ droid _ was waiting for him to make the first move. the small act gave him hope. the same hope that he tried to stomp out with madness came storming back, embracing him warmly. 

as he laid on the medical with the light shining down on him, a single tear slipped down his face. it was ironic that the cold table was the warmest place in the- house? asylum? anakin didn’t know where he was anymore, nor did he care. 

closing his eyes, he accepted his fate, listening to the droid scan over his body, and a small beep that followed its inspection. as he waited for it to pass the verdict, anakin let himself reach into that box of memories once more, knowing it may be the only truth he was ever told. it was better to die aware than a slave to lies. maybe if he was lucky, it would saw his neck off and leave him in the cold world of technology. 

**_next treatment set : amputation of left arm_ **

anakin didn’t move, clenching his teeth as the saw  _ whirred _ to life once again. he’d face the same as ahsoka had… it was the only fair thing after all. he failed her… failed padme… just as obi-wan failed him. 

but had he? anakin wanted to place the blame on him so much that it  _ hurt _ . every moment he spent here though… as nerve wracking as it was, only showed him somewhere better. 

there were so many thoughts running through his mind as the sound of the saw grew closer, so much confusion rattling his brain. his breath was unsteady, eyes flying open when he heard the saw hit metal. 

his head turned, watching the saw get eaten up by his own arm, the plastic flesh torn and metal peeking out from under. 

he screamed in impossible agony, pushing himself back so fast that he fell to the tile floor with a  _ thud _ . there was pain surging across his durasteel arm, a memory from his true past flooding back through his mind. 

_ a flash of a red lightsaber, falling to the ground in searing pain. numbness. _

anakin knew they were real, for he felt the same pain now that he did before. pain didn’t lie. 

the droid repaired itself before clambering over to anakin, standing still and peering at him as it did before. waiting to fix him now, by how its saw hand was replaced with a more normal one. 

anakin could hardly find the energy to keep his eyes open, the pain in his left arm unbearable on top of everything else he faced. 

why did everything hurt? 

was there nothing else to life, but lies and suffering? 

he choked back tears, lying limp on the tile floor. “i can’t m-move,” he said, voice hoarse and throat raw from vomit. “pl-please help…” it was useless. how would this hunk of metal understand him? surely it followed only what evil people programmed it to do, offering no room for other compassions besides after healing. 

just as he started to lose consciousness, the droid lifted him onto the medical table once more, despite anakin’s contrasting thoughts. it beeping in a language he couldn’t understand and another scanner ran over him soon after. 

he would be okay.

the droid would take care of him. 

everything was fine.

anakin slowly fell to sleep as his pain subsided, having no choice in the matter. mentally and physically, he was ill. exhaustion washed over him far too easily now and so did a simple fact; he didn’t want to wake up from sleep anymore. 

not when drifting away into another realm was so safe. yet, anakin wouldn’t have the pleasure of dying alone in a safe space under the care of a droid. instead, he’d wake with fear in his heart. what he feared most of though, was facing who threw him into this madness. 

obi-wan. 

what memories had been worth the pain he faced? knowing that he lost an arm? from a time he couldn’t even remember? 

no, obi-wan just threw him away to suffer once he realized anakin couldn’t do what he wanted. even palpatine hadn’t thrown him into danger… not that anakin could remember if he had. it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. 

nothing here mattered, not even anakin himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides before you guys kill me lmao*


	3. behind closed doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anakin isn’t the only one suffering...

obi-wan sank to the floor, tears filling his eyes as he listened to anakin bang against the door, his screams ripping through the air. it hurt having to listen… knowing that he sent the love of his life to be tortured by a medical droid. 

he didn’t have a choice in his actions. 

palpatine’s word was law. 

he’d kill anakin before he let obi-wan have him back… all it would take was the press of a button for the chip in his neck to malfunction. then it would explode and the  _ chosen one _ would die. it would be his fault… and obi-wan would fall. he’d lash out at the galaxy from taking what was  _ his _ . and palpatine would get exactly what he wanted from at least one of them. obi-wan’s mind churned with guilt, unable to push the dark thoughts away. 

the planet was to blame, it's dark aura infecting his soul slowly. 

or…. that’s what he told himself to sooth the guilt. 

he began to hope for his own security in the light, knowing deep down he was more capable of falling under the circumstances. 

obi-wan knew the younger man became more exhausted with every day that passed. they’d only been here three months, but to anakin… it had been years. each day that passed was slow, amounting to only pain for the younger. it swallowed him up when he tried to fight back, eating him alive from the inside out. 

there were so many plans designed to make anakin fall, every single one ending the same. anakin stayed towards the light, a blessing in obi-wan’s eyes. but it could only last so long before palpatine found their weakness. then one of them, if not both, would fall and everything they’d worked for would crumble. 

the galaxy would be lost to darkness. 

the banging suddenly came to a complete end, obi-wan, pressing his ear against the door. he froze, scared to take a breath in fear of losing his senses. 

_ “i hate you!”  _

the words ripped his heart to shreds, tears brimming in obi-wan’s eyes as he listened to anakin’s rapid footsteps grow distant. there was no hope for him now… he  _ would _ get caught. the sith lord would make sure of it. 

not knowing what would happen afterwards scared him. fear ignited in his chest, suffocating any hopeful thoughts obi-wan had left. even worse, obi-wan would have to watch it all happen beside the sith lord. if not… anakin would be hurt more than necessary. 

he didn’t deserve to be hurt anymore. 

obi-wan would be even more of a monster if he let that happen, knowing he could play a part in saving him. 

he glanced down at the remote in his hand, a small red flash letting him know it was time to go. with a shaky breath, the jedi rose to his feet, wiping the tears from his face. obi-wan refused to let palpatine see his weakness. he’d rather watch anakin die a slow, wretched death than expose them to the treacherous man.

the sith would use their attachment to make him hurt anakin far worse than any droid could. 

obi-wan would kill himself before he violated anakin, the galaxy be damned. he’d do it more than once if he had to. suffering a miserable death would never compare to hurting his love. 

after putting his mental shields up, the man left the room with a sharp inhale of air. the hall was illuminated with soft white light, the datapads deactivated now that anakin was out of the hall. they were just another illusion designed to scare the younger. 

all of the redesigned rooms disgusted obi-wan. 

furthermore, watching the slow changes made to the sith temple, only made obi-wan more enraged. they were trapped here, on this cursed planet, two halves of the same credit. he felt  _ every _ ounce of anakin’s pain through their bond, no matter how he tried to ignore it. 

he opened the door to the kitchen, glancing at the blood staining the room. it was darker, dried onto every surface it touched. guilt weighed on his shoulders once more, the image of ahsoka tearing the force collar out of her throat forever plaguing his mind. the poor girl didn’t deserve the pain she suffered for her former master. ahsoka left the order… she deserved to live a peaceful life far away from them. 

but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. obi-wan knew it all too well, being trapped in this himself. all because he loved anakin more than life itself. 

anyone who came across anakin became engrossed in him… his enemies most of all. 

obi-wan looked at the table, ‘padme’s’ body under a sheet. the real padme was safe within the senate, under the illusion all of the jedi were dead, including anakin and obi-wan. 

but, anakin didn’t know that. 

until they escaped, he’d have to let anakin think padme was dead… that anakin was to blame for it. another sin he’d have to repent for when anakin came out of the madness palpatine threw him into. 

obi-wan would grovel for anakin’s forgiveness once he found a way to save him. he’d get on his knees and worship the younger if that’s what he desired. 

he’d do anything to hold him in his arms once more, to show him how much he loved him. how much he’d missed him. how he’d gone close to insane without him as a lover. obi-wan yearned to praise his body like he had so many times during the war. 

again, the remote in his hand flashed red. this time was a warning. 

annoyance sparked in his chest. 

he’d become a slave to palpatine’s plans. 

obi-wan wished he could take his blade to the sith’s neck or better, to disabled him limb by limb. he could already hear the screams, a darkness pulling him closer to the real thing. obi-wan almost let it in before remembering that anakin wouldn’t want that.

_ anakin doesn’t want to be manipulated either.  _

obi-wan pushed the voice away, closing his eyes to wrest it away with the force. “there is no chaos, there is harmony…” he whispered before opening his eyes once more. the metal door that led to palpatine’s office taunted him, the force signature around it dark. there was no way obi-wan could ignore it. he had to face the darkness, just like anakin was doing. they were in this together, even if the younger couldn’t remember. even if anakin didn’t know his age, name, or the color of the sky, obi-wan would love him just the same. 

opening the door to palpatine’s office was no longer a challenge once he found peace. 

datapads lined the walls with footage of anakin in another room. the old man sat in the center of the room, his eyes moving across every screen in observation. 

ahsoka getting her arm sawed off was the broadcast shown from every camera, each from a new angle. 

bile rose in his throat, his gaze falling to the floor. looking away didn’t stop the sound of her screams, each one calling for anakin’s help. 

he forced himself to look up when her screams stopped, hope stirring in him. had anakin saved her? did he sacrifice himself for the good of things? would palpatine let them go if he had?... no, he wouldn’t have. 

but it didn’t matter. anakin had not moved one inch from where he laid on the floor, his eyes full of fear. 

fear led to hate and hate opened up a gateway to the darkside of the force. anakin hardly knew the force anymore… obi-wan could hardly feel him in their bond unless it was a cry for help. 

obi-wan used to think anakin was beautiful when he cried, on those rare days where everything became too much. on those days, obi-wan would watch him cry numb tears before taking him into his arms with all the love he could muster. 

now when he cried, obi-wan wanted to fall on his lightsaber. to let the blade slice him clean in half as he once did to maul. anything to feel close to the same pain his lover endured. 

obi-wan watched anakin give in to the droid next… his heart broke for the younger.

he listened to his maddening laughter… the sick noise haunting him. 

then he watched as it stopped… watched the numb tears fall down his cheeks. 

it reminded him of how beautiful those tears could be when he wasn’t hysterical. for the first time in weeks, obi-wan saw the  _ real _ anakin shining through. 

“it would seem he hasn’t fully given in yet,” palpatine spoke in a bitter tone. turning in his seat. “i wonder why that is, master kenobi.” 

“he is strong willed,” obi-wan said firmly, staring into the sith’s eyes. 

_ he is dying. _

“anakin will always flourish in the light, i’ve trained him as such,” he added, not letting his gaze drop. 

_ you groomed him. _

obi-wan clenched his teeth, cursing the planet again. a quiet part of his mind wondered how much longer he’d blame the planet. his thoughts only spoke the truths he refused to admit. 

“i see.” palpatine watched him closely, obi-wan about to feel him trying to prod at his shields. the darkness trying to seep through was too much, the man taking a step back in poor defense. 

“stop.” 

the sith paused, quirking an eyebrow at his behavior. “you seem distressed, master kenobi. although you speak of your apprentice in such high values, i don’t think you believe it yourself.” he tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair. “you’re hiding something,” he hissed. 

obi-wan furrowed his eyebrows, a cold sweat washing over him. “i’m afraid you’re mistaken.” he said through gritted teeth, able to feel the sith trying to tear his shields away with darkness. his legs felt weak, the jedi falling to his knees to stay focused on locking away his own memories from palpatine’s grasp. 

he should’ve known it would only be so long before the sith turned against their former agreement. 

palpatine stood, kicking him back to the floor. “well then, i’m afraid i have no use for you now.” lightning sprung from his fingertips, the datapads on the walls chirping and sparking. 

obi-wan pushed himself back on his feet, the fear of death looming over his head like a guillotine. he’d lose anakin if he died now. 

he refused to die without taking anakin with him. 

out of pure desperation, obi-wan dropped his mental shields, holding his hands up in defense against the possible attack. “there!” he shouted, knowing the sith would take him apart piece by piece for the information he wanted. 

he failed anakin. 

he failed the republic. 

he failed the galaxy. 

palpatine relaxed his shoulders, falling back into his seat with little grace. there was a moment where neither of them moved before the sith afflicted a dangerous mental assault, obi-wan crying out in pain as the sith invaded his mind. there had never been this level of hatred surging through his thoughts, the light fading from view no matter how the man clung to it. 

obi-wan’s mind curled in on itself, everything he tried to hide being snatched away. palpatine saw  _ everything _ and there was  _ nothing  _ obi-wan could do to stop him. 

he saw the memories he hid in both his and anakin's mind. he saw the love in their bond… the pure attachment between two lovers. every secret was revealed, obi-wan losing the last advantage he had against the sith. 

_ there’s still a way to save him. _

it was a wicked truth; a truth that obi-wan could hardly ignore when their freedom was on the line. when anakin’s life was at risk. wouldn’t be selfish to risk the chosen one for his own purity? 

_ let the darkside in. _

_ don’t you want to save him? _

of course he did, but this wasn’t right. falling to the darkside could only bring hate into his heart. fear led to hate. obi-wan knew this, had taught these to his padawan so many times in the past. yet, he was succumbing to his attachment, his worst nightmares coming to life. 

_ this is the only way to save him.  _

the datapads cried out with anakin’s screams, the torturous sounds surrounding obi-wan. “don’t you want to make this stop?” palpatine hissed, distributing another round of pain through the jedi’s mind. “with the power of the darkside, you can save him. without it, you’ll watch him suffer until he breaks.” the old man knelt beside him on the floor, close enough for obi-wan to feel his ragged breaths by his ear. “and when he breaks master kenobi, he will be  _ mine _ .”

the words echoed through his ears, disgust pooling in the pit of his stomach. anakin was  _ his _ and only  _ his _ . and obi-wan would be damned if he let this scum try to take what was his. his lip curled in anger, the jedi letting go of everything he’d been taught all at once. “no,” he said firmly, accepting the darkness plaguing his mind until there was no light left in him. “anakin will never be your apprentice,” he spat, looking into the sith’s sickly yellow eyes. 

obi-wan’s own were gold rimmed, the blue fading away as datapads around the room glitched vibrate reds and bright greens. 

palpatine backed away with a sinister grin stretching across his face in an unnatural fashion. “perhaps not, but you will pledge your allegiance to me as a new sith. i’ll teach you the ways of the darkside. only then will you know how to save him.”

obi-wan chuckled darkly, standing to his full height and lifting his hand. “you actually think that?” he asked, wrapping the force around the older sith’s throat. “i’ll never be you. i’ll keep  _ my _ apprentice safe and he’ll join  _ my  _ side in our new empire.” 

palpatine gasped for air, his true form being revealed as the oxygen was sucked from his body. obi-wan watched as he turned a shade paler, then to blue, smiling as he tried to grasp at nothing. 

“anakin will never be plagued with what you’ve done to him again,” he continued, gold eyes gleaming with satisfaction. “he is mine.”

the words were hardly his own, but instead the voice in the back of his mind that took over. the need to keep anakin to himself was eating the newfound sith from the inside out, causing him to embrace the darkness surrounding him. it embraced him, longing for him to unleash the frustration and possessive behaviors he’d locked up for so long. as a jedi, he couldn’t act on them, forced to stuff them away for eternity. now things would be different, he’d have anakin all to himself forever. 

_ and if anakin doesn’t want to comply?  _

as the sith lord fell limp, obi-wan walked to his desk, plundering through drawers until three lightsabers came into view. he took palpatine’s, circling his dead body in slow paces as he thought. anakin would remember him when he woke, nothing keeping him away from his memories any longer. he would love him again. 

_ love isn’t loyalty.  _

anger rose in him like a starship making the jump to hyperspace. he ignited the red blade, the smell of ozone flowing through the room. “you did this,” he spat at the corpse, spinning the weapon in his hand. he brought it above his head, then down on palpatine’s neck, ensuring his doom. the decapitated head rolled from the body, blood spreading across the floor, beneath obi-wan’s boots. 

anakin couldn’t refuse his savior.

obi-wan would make sure of it… even if he hurt his lover further. in the end, he’d make sure anakin understood everything he did was for his sake. that he did it out of his loyalty to him. stepping away from the body, he dropped the lightsaber like a broken toy, wiping his hands of the wretched thing. 

before leaving the room, he took his own lightsaber, preparing to revert the temple to its original state for anakin’s pleasure. it would be a fast process, as he’d leave it to the droids. 

after giving commands to the droids and making a very clear point of who was in charge, he left to gather anakin from the room of screens. he couldn’t bear to be separated from him any longer than he was forced to. 

obi-wan pitied the fool who tried to separate them again. he’d torture them far worse than the swift death palpatine suffered, making them watch as he brought his blade upon their heads. 

when anakin came into view, he was sleeping peacefully on the medical table. the droid beside him powered up as obi-wan grew closer, waiting for commands. the sith paid it no mind, brushing his hand across anakin’s cheek gently. “beautiful,” he whispered, then pressing a kiss to his forehead. obi-wan pulled away, looking over him once more before turning to the droid. “revert his arm to the original model and remove the microchip from his neck. i want him in my quarters after the procedure. asleep.” 

he placed a hand on his forehead, closing his eyes to focus on the younger’s force signature. slowly, he pushed him further into sleep so he couldn’t fight against him. then, he erased everything. every single memory after order 66. when anakin awoke, he’d be dressed like royalty, just as obi-wan viewed him. 

with that, obi-wan left before anakin awoke from the pain from having his neck sliced open. the chip would be grown into his nerves, by the red that bled into the back of his neck like a new set of veins. the removal would be painful, but necessary. 

obi-wan couldn’t let any trace of palpatine’s work survive. it would taint his lover and that was unacceptable. 

as he left, anakin’s screams echoed behind him, the sound enticing to say the least. the way his voice cracked when his tone grew higher in pitch, all the way down to the pleas for it to stop were like a symphony. 

obi-wan wondered how he didn’t notice it before. 

he chuckled under his breath, knowing he  _ did  _ notice before. the only difference was how he pushed the feelings out of his mind with the jedi code. 

the code that no longer existed. 

the jedi wouldn’t for long either. 

anakin was the only loose string to sever. 

he may not have broken for palpatine, but obi-wan knew he’d fall for him. anakin would do anything for him… even if it meant leaving everything behind. 

it wasn’t like there was anything left for him at the jedi temple. 

a few younglings that were left behind? ancient books and holocrons? none of it compared to what obi-wan would give him as emperor. 

obi-wan would give anakin the entire galaxy if that’s what he desired. there was nothing he wouldn’t do for him. keeping anakin happy, keeping him loved, keeping him... as his own was all that mattered. 

anakin would understand. 

_ and if he doesn’t? _

“then i’ll make him,” he hissed under his breath, turning a sharp corner to the master quarters. this part of the temple was untouched from palpatine’s meddling, deep red carpet decorating the floors, while the walls were lined gold and black. it was regal, the dark wood furniture only adding to the aesthetic. 

it would be perfect for them. 

anakin would see soon enough. 

he’d make him see. 

no matter what it cost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obi-wan: i can’t fall, nor can anakin  
> obi-wan: *becomes sith*

**Author's Note:**

> i’d love to hear feedback and what your theories are for anakin’s journey going forward.


End file.
